There’s So Much Grace! // Kigali, Rwanda

So lately I’ve been thinking about grace. Some of us think we can use it like a blanket to cover the worst parts about us, so then we can do or act however we need and at the end of the day God’s love still has our back.

Well, yes. He does. But recently I’ve been thinking about His outrageous grace as the person of Jesus and somehow this grace makes me want to expose my shortcomings even more! The more grace I drink, the more He gets to the very core of who I am and lights me up as if I drank some kind of x-ray liquid. 

Here in Rwanda, one of the hardest thing for me, (and maybe for Alexis) has been to meet or fail expectations of the culture that surrounds us. Religious culture is a difficult thing to come up against and say let’s do this with grace! Without grace we are living full of defenses. Because we are afraid that we just might not have what it takes, or we just might not be worthy of love. The fear of not being enough for people, having the wrong answer, being last, being left behind, being abandoned, leaves us as God’s children fighting for survival.

But what did Jesus say? He said, ‘Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is my Father’s pleasure to give you the kingdom.’ – Luke 12:32

With His smile, He has destroyed my religion!

In this place of victorious grace I want to be vulnerable all the more…and say, ‘Heyyy here I am with all of my fears and shortcomings, and I’m so loved! WOW. Make me better! Make me more like you Jesus! Help us help others find this freedom in who you have created us to be!’

Constant Sun.

Lover of my soul.
Peeler of my layers.
Detangler of my depth, my unknown wells.
Stroke my head, brush aside any rusty strands.
Nourish my innermost being on Sunset.
In my dark tower.

Guide me in response to your love.
To your quiet pursuit.
Tend to the messes that are crumbly and dry.
Whisk the substance of my heart into more good, more overflow rising from within.
Surely you have your best written down.
Can I copy it word for word?

Tell me the secrets of the darkness,
Tell me why the temperature rises and drops leaving me without words on Sahara.

Even there your pursuit hems me in.
You gather my distant hope like crusts —
My mirage is your 3D.

You carry my weight, leaving me hanging.
So constantly.

How do I make sense of weightlessness?

Your nearness is my good.
Do what you will.

And I will sing. I will voice my weightless cry for depth in the desert.
You know my dance in the sand on Sundays.
Constant Sun.